EMDR for complex trauma
"Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships." — Judith Herman
Most of what you'll read online about EMDR describes a common picture: one distressing event, a memory that feels stuck, and a process to help it settle. That picture fits some people well. It doesn't always fit people whose trauma spans multiple events, or perhaps a childhood with no one clear memory at all.
If your difficult experiences were ongoing, happened in childhood, or took place in relationships that were supposed to be safe, you may have been told you have complex trauma (sometimes called complex PTSD or developmental trauma). EMDR work in this space can be helpful and is adapted to meet your needs.
Single-incident vs complex trauma
With single-incident trauma, such as an accident or an assault, in the case of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), there’s often a clear “before” and “after” and a clear memory to work on.
Complex trauma is different. It’s often:
Repetitive or long term, rather than one incident
Relational, involving people who were meant to care for you
Woven into the threads of your identity: how you see yourself, how you relate to others, how your body handles closeness and stress
Difficult to put into one memory, with no single “worst memory” to point to, and sometimes with gaps or missing memories
Because of this, the work tends to focus on patterns, beliefs, and ways of coping that were fundamentally shaped by the experience.
What changes in the way EMDR is used
More time before processing. In complex trauma work, building stability usually takes longer, and for some people, it's a big part or all of the therapy. This might include developing ways to stabilise your system, building a stronger sense of presence, and understanding your own responses. This is a core part of the process and is often where one starts to notice shifts in day-to-day life.
Working with more than one "part" of you. Many people with longstanding trauma describe feeling pulled in different directions - one part wants to move forward, another part is not yet ready to change. I draw on parts work to make room for all of it.
Choosing targets carefully. Rather than starting with the most painful memory, we often begin with smaller, more manageable material, or with how things show up in the present, and build from there.
Attending to dissociation. If you tend to feel foggy, numb, far away or "not here," that needs to be part of the plan. Processing works best when you can stay connected to the present and the past, so the pacing is adjusted accordingly.
Thinking in themes, not events. Instead of one memory, we may look at a theme running through many (for example, "I'm not safe," "it's my fault," or "I have to look after everyone"), and how it shows up now.
Therapy might take longer, and that’s okay
People often ask how long EMDR takes. With complex trauma, it depends on your history, what supports you have around you, what else is going on in your life, and what you're hoping for. Some people alternate between phases of active processing and consolidation, and that rhythm is a normal part of this kind of work.
This is also why we tend to work within themes, which means that we don’t have to address everything all at once.
What people often hope for
People exploring this kind of work often hope for things like:
Feeling less pulled by old responses or patterns
Being able to stay more present during moments that used to feel overwhelming
Having more space before responding in relationships
A more settled relationship with their body
What you’re hoping for shapes the therapy experience, so it’s worth considering this before you begin. We can also spend time exploring this together in our first session.
Culture, context and the wider picture
Trauma occurs in context. Family, culture, migration, discrimination and community all shape both what happened and what healing can look like. Drawing on kapwa, the Filipino idea that we're always connected to others, I try to keep the wider picture in view, including what might need to shift in your environment, alongside the work that we do.
If you're wondering whether this is for you
You don't need a diagnosis, a clear memory or a clear story to learn more about EMDR. A short introductory call is a good place to talk about your history at whatever level feels comfortable, ask questions, and consider whether EMDR or something else might suit you.
I'm Maejoy Obach, a Clinical Psychologist and Accredited EMDR Practitioner. My work is grounded in kapwa - the belief that healing happens in connection, not in isolation. I offer trauma informed, relational therapy in Coffs Harbour and via telehealth across Australia, including EMDR Intensives for people wanting more focused, concentrated work. If anything here resonates, I'd love to hear from you.
